Common sense- rule of law?

Forums - Share your Alimony Story:

Twelve years ago, my ex-wife filed for divorce after I received a large promotion and salary increase. She refused to move to my new job location and a year later I notice that our personal checks were bouncing. She handled this as I traveled 70 percent of the time. Through my work, I deferred salary and bonus which she had no access too. My lawyer advised me on day one, that in CT., a long term marriage would result in a 50/50 split of all property. I agreed day one to the split. Her lawyer insisted on hiring a accountant and for eleven months I paid over two hundred thousand in legal bills and accounting bills. The settlement ended up 54 percent for her, 46 for me. My job was high risk, the assets totaled for each about $1.3 million. All three children were over 18. After spending hundreds of thousands and going through almost a year, after agreeing to the demand on day one I was very concern, I would lose my job and end up broke going back into the crazy system.

The alimony was $15000 per month, 25 percent of my annual bonus and 54 percent of assets. Included 50 percent of awarded stock options, same percent of my pension till date of settlement. I was also responsible for medical except out of pocket. She netted after tax $2,700,000 from the options.
My obligation ended upon turning 65 or my retirement.

Ten years later she filed for modification base on two counts. First, her medical expenses had sky rocketed and my financial circumstances had changed.

In court it was proven that her out of pocket had decreased, that her premiums had sky rocketed..remember I pay those invoices not her. Judge said clearly she had enough money and had no need.

I have been successful and she has benefited with the 25 percent cut of my annual bonus. Her financial affidavit changed three times including the morning of the hearing. Did not include pension, worth over one million tax free plus over $3,000 per month. When pointed out in court the judge said
If she doesn't live to 65 it is worthless so no need to include it! No mention of interest and dividends, in other words a falsified affidavit. Her stated net worth was over $3 million. Actual $5 million, a 500 percent increase in networth!

My net worth ten times that, mostly deferred savings and company stock. Most, pre-tax which
CT. Law does not count! This increase all achieved in the past six years. I save, my ex spents....

Her lawyers asked for monthly alimony be increased to $45,000 per month and extend duration till 65, not upon my possible early retirement.

The judge ruled from the bench in two minutes...$40,000 per month, duration forever and retro active to date the modification was filed..another $275,000.

I remarried seven years ago, and have lost my job two months ago and appealed the ruling. Lawyer bills are over two hundred thousand already. Went back to court to ask for a stay. Judge refused and said if appeals court sends it back, could be more money! A threat in my opinion.....

So what really happen? Our life on hold, no income except from our savings and $480,000 out forever plus legal bills. Where is there requirement to be honest, truthful with affidavit. Why would a judge allow this conduct in her court? Make a ruling based on false facts thats?

Our live is hell, after paying everything for eleven years!

It is wrong, we are being punished for no reason and my ex rewarded.

I ran a public traded company so all my facts are public the entire time...

They have been getting their way by picking on us individually. Now see us as a group!
We can change this!

Although the dollar amounts in your story are staggering, the overall situation is the same for most of us. I pay 21% of my salary to my ex as alimony. We were married for 24 years and 10 months. I tried to have alimony terminate at my age 65; but, the judge ruled I should pay for life.

My ex recieved half of our net worth, including half of the equity in the house, half if my 401K, and half of my retirement. Then to add insult to injury, she was awarded 21% of my salary going forward! Her attorney argued that my future income should be considered as part of our net worth. I couldn't bellive it.

Then I was told I have to maintain a $200,000 life insurance policy with my ex as the sole beneficiary. In essence, she wins and benefits fiancially wether I live or die.

Rather than improving her finacial situation, my ex continues to work at her current salary amount, because she fears that if she increases her salary, she runs the risk of having alimony reduced or eliminated depending on her income. Her philosphy is why go out and work when she can sit and do nothing and collect $20,800 a year. The system is encouring her not to finacially improve herself. This is what I call "marital welfare".

On the other hand, when my salary increased due to my hard work, she took me to court to have her alimony increased! Why is she allowed to sit and do nothing, and then benefit from my hard work? Fortunately, in my case, the judge ruled that she was receiving an adequateamount of alimony to maintain her lifestyle. However, I was told to pay her legal fees.

She is no longer my wife, but she continues to receive and enjoy the financial benefits of being my wife. That makes no scense!

Hopefully, this alimony reform movement can do something about this scenseless situation.

I paid $150,000 to appeal..lost....
Now paying $75,000 to go to Supreme CT
Told maybe 20% chance to win..which means I go back to Superior Court!!!!
Great system...constant stress bills and when someone asks what happening..they look at you like you must not being telling the truth or whole story because that could not happen in USA