After reading the USA Today article today (Should Alimony Laws be Changed? by Yamiche Alcindor) (http://www.usatoday.com/money/perfi/basics/story/2012-01-05/alimony-law-...), my heart goes out to Linda Morgan. What injustice! I, too, am a second wife who has witnessed the venom of my husbands divorce by all parties involved. It is eye opening to see how the family court system here in Connecticut is extremely flawed, and the "game" that is played by judges and lawyers. The alimony and co-habitation laws in Connecticut, as well as the rest of the states, are seriously broken and must be changed. I agree with several respondents to this article in that it appears most family lawyers have no interest in truly helping families, only keeping the fight going in order to keep them in business. To read the divorce decision written by the judge in my husband's divorce is shameful. The personal attacks she (judge) wrote in a legal document prove how this judge's emotions clearly impacted her erroneous decision. It is frightening to know that family law judges have a great degree of discretion to apply their own hatred/punishment based on what the lawyers have "spinned" in trial instead of executing the law accurately. Therefore, clear, fair, accurate reform guidelines must be set and remove this colossal discretion given to judges, who often show bias towards one spouse causing tragedy instead of fair, equitable distribution! Additionally, I have witnessed how these antiquated laws, a biased trial decision, and continued emotional provoking by lawyers has broken down all lines of communication between my husband and his ex-wife making co-parenting nearly impossible and the children have suffered tremendously.
While the 13th Amendment abolished SLAVERY and INVOLUNTARY SERVITUDE over a 145 years ago, this clearly doesn't apply for divorcing spouses according to current family laws. For years, my husband has been sentenced to keeping his ex-wife (who has an undergrad and advanced degree) and her "live in lover" in the lifestyle most people only dream about. My husband is starting over financially, and will have to work well into retirement age. The ex-wife and her lover won't marry as her "allowance" will stop permanently. Why is it in a State such as Connecticut that promotes marriage by recently passing a same-sex marriage law so that ALL can enjoy the institution of marriage, still follow divorce laws that encourage couples NOT to marry? My husband's divorce decree states alimony ends with re-marriage or co-habitation, yet proving co-habitation in the State of Connecticut is another battle all together. The co-habitation law in CT states that in addition to living together, the live-in must also provide financial support to the household. However, in a situation where an ex-wife is receiving enormous amounts of money in alimony, awarded majority of the assets earned during the marriage, along with a fully paid multi-million dollar home, a multi-million dollar life insurance policy on her ex husband, etc, etc, etc, then WHY would the live-in provide any financial support? Clearly the law was written with the assumption that a co-habitating (live-in) man (or woman), would never think of being a freeloader! Right? Unfortunately this unethical behavior is what we are forced to deal with. It is amazing how lack of moral character is such an acceptable practice these days in our society with no remorse. And after all our fore-"mothers" have done to pave the way for women, it is embarrassing and reprehensible, as a professional woman myself, to see so many of these ex-wives with education and skills enjoy their entitled behavior by taking advantage of the system and refusing to support themselves. What a deplorable example to set for one's children. Yet the most disturbing aspect of all of this legal fighting, is the life time impact it has had and will continue to have on the children involved. To witness the emotional toll and embarrassment the children have had to handle being forced to live in a home with a live-in lover who is not a step-parent AND sadly, the crushing fact that the two parents they love the most, are at war.....and probably will be for life.....all thanks to the "good folks" at the Connecticut Family Court! It is imperative to get involved in your state's reform movement! Change the laws now to stop this destruction of families!
