Everyone Hurts!

It’s all very sad and a complete failure on the state’s behalf. I blame the state and its current archaic alimony laws that we are forced into abiding in this 21st century. My son was too young to witness the demise of his father and I (I never received any kind of support and still don’t). However at the age of almost 16 he is very smart. He is fully aware of his step father’s pain as well as his own mother’s. I had nothing to do with my husband’s permanent alimony yet I am subjected to its insanity. At times I feel like I am a clown living in a three-ringed-circus!

I wholeheartedly agree CT (& NJ where I live) must limit alimony, and stop lifetime/permanent alimony to give people reason to move on with their lives. Most people who have gone through divorce were unaware of the exact nature of what “permanent” alimony really is. Initially the recipient of alimony feels a sense of victory, that they won. However this false sense of victory is the very thing that will later keep them trapped. They (the recipient) are unable to emotionally, spiritually, mentally and financially move forward in their lives. They remain stuck, never to marry or regain control of their own destiny, all because they are in fear of loosing their weekly alimony check. On the other hand the payer accepts their financial destruction and emotionally detaches from the marriage something the recipient never does. Eventually the payer begins to heal from the inside. Sooner than later they begin picking up the pieces and re-build a life worth living. These individuals go on to re-marry, re-build and live a productive meaningful life. Then awareness sets in and due to an archaic system they start living in fear. Not knowing how will they ever be able to pay alimony after retirement, loss of a job or become disabled. And if unable to pay, they face incarceration. Of course the recipient wants to feel victorious again, they haven’t felt accomplishment since the initial divorce (they are given no incentive to become independent) and peruse in retaliation because they are unable to control their own lives. The recipient also fails to realize the devastating effects this has on their own child/children….they can’t see their own destruction let alone their children’s. The entire situation is very sad. These laws must change.

For more information on your fellow state trying to reform go to www.njalimonyreform.org, also visit us on facebook.
Together we can make a difference and reform current archaic alimony laws
in the 21st century ~