Hi I'm the second wife, my husbands story starts about a year before I met him, we met in 2001. I don't have first hand knowledge of the break down of his marriage only what he has told me. He and his ex were married a little over 20 years. I was told that during the first 5 years of his marriage his ex continued her education and worked part time, about year 6 she had a total mental break down, was committed for a short time and was to attend therapy. During this therapy it was "supposedly" discovered that she was molested as a child by her father until she moved out of the house to attend college. Because of this physical abuse she developed multiple personality disorder. This was not obvious to my husband, there were very little things like choice of food that one time she would say she liked but then not another time. Nothing that he could really pin point. After the breakdown she never worked again, he was ok with that, he had a good job and could support them in a moderate way, he wanted to see her get well. They never had any children due to the medications that she took, and some supposed infertility issues. A few years before the break up he had some issues at work and left that job and got another job, it was not the job that he thought it would be but still they had no financial issues, he began to look for another job and found something better, closer to home and more money. However this required him to go to Germany for 2 weeks, he then told his ex he was going to take the job and about the 2 week training that was required. At that point she informed him that when he came back from Germany not to come back to the marital home. She was done. He himself went into some counseling due to the shock of the separation. At that time they had to set up a separation agreement, for the finances. It was during this time that he thought they could "work it out" and agreed to continue to support her generously. Not so, her lawyer and counselor accused my husband of some in appropriate behavior during his time as a youth counselor at their church, not true. Because she had been molested (this came to light with regression therapy) she thought all men must molest. He was shocked and dismayed, and didn't have a great lawyer. Nothing came of the accusation but he was advised to pay what was asked for because it could be worse, he was to give up all interest in the marital home, in exchange for keeping his pension, but had to give up 10K from an additional 401K. The judge ruled his ex as disabled, and not able to work, this was to last until he was 65, and he was to maintain a life insurance policy for 100K for her in case of his death was to pay 2500 a month and continue with her health insurance policy until the divorce was final and then COBRA after that. When that ran out he was to pay for the premium, which in the end was a total of 2750 per month. It was just after all this that I met him, he had nothing, he only took a very few things from the house. He was living in an apartment, he was 43 with 20 years + to go on his alimony. Since then we have been able to build a life, for what he does for a living we should be able to have a bit more, but I work so we are comfortable. However this isn't were the story ends. His ex who is deemed to be mentally disabled, was able to sell the house, pack it, buy another house in North Carolina and move down there. The other twist is shortly after my husband left the marital house his ex invited a woman that they both had known for some years to live with her, they are still together in North Carolina. As far as I could find out neither of them work. The only way I can find out what they are up to is hire a PI. They are living out of reach enough for us to know if she has recovered from her mental illness. As I said I have a job but I am facing some physical issues that make me working a bit more difficult. Am I mad, yes, I think it's ridiculous that she would ask for a divorce but still wants to be supported, what I bring home is about what we pay her. My husband no longer carries the insurance policy, he changed jobs again, makes more money and didn't carry that policy over which was from his old job. If anything happens to him not sure what claims she can make. I'm a bit older than my husband by 3 years, so he is looking at 10 more years of this craziness. He is afraid to even question the alimony because he is afraid that he could get a judge that would make him pay more. I am afraid too. This is so unfair, we are lucky that we can live comfortably, however if I have to cut back my work, or get laid off we will be in big trouble, all because this woman is supposedly mentally ill. Thanks for letting me sound off, I was married before also and went through a divorce but at the time I lived in California, there is no alimony there, I had a minor child and I was fortunate to receive child support but I didn't get a dime of spousal support or alimony. CT has some of the worse laws. I'm all for changing them, not sure this would help us but I certainly would like to see them change.
