outrageous alimony

Forums - Share your Alimony Story:

I was married for 38 years but one day decided I was not happy anymore and after many years living on the road (working for airlines) i've had enough but didn't file for divorce I allowed her to file (Dumb move) since I felt I wasn't able to live like that anymore. I spent thousands for dollars fixing a house I didn't live in only to come home and find it well lets say not exactly to my liking. I guess I should get to the point here. I hired an attorney since I was out of state and to far away to constantly fly home to deal with it in person I allowed him to act on my behalf only to find out later that was a really bad idea. He would call me and tell me of her demands since her lawyer was what I called a man hater and I always thought I would be fair but then it got out of hand with her demanding 2000 a month plus life insurance for 150,000 and only be allowed modification if I become totally disabled, I'm 60 years old and figure ill have to work the rest of my life paying alimony well at least 19 years, I was offered to go to court to fight it for another 5000 retainer (kidding right what did I get for the first 5000)? well as it turns out she has my son and his girlfriend living with her for free plus kid. My side I made at the time over 85,000 plus overtime then during the divorce I was transferred to another location which meant a pay cut and no overtime but the lawyers told me I could work overtime to make up the difference (yea right) the final is that im now living on about 850 biweekly while she makes her check plus my 1000 somehow the law doesn't seem fair and there's no way to make it right so that's my story. I want to contest the alimony but feel like most I'm stuck with it and there is no recourse.

I was with nothing to show for all those years No house no tools nothing but the clothes and truck and my prized Harley Davidson seems unfair after 38 years

Unfortunately, as the middle class is shrinking, our status quo for alimony (and taxes remains the same).
I'm in the construction business and have been all my life. I was married for 21 years and my wife divorced me. I naively thought it would be an amicable one and that my wife would remarry in a couple of years. I did what I thought was the right thing and was very honest in disclosure on my financial affidavit.
Being self-employed, my hours were easily 80+ per week. I should have realized I was being set up when at the 1st meeting between the parties, that my wife didn't proffer that my income was actually the equivalent of me working 2 jobs. Still I thought she'd be married in a couple of years and it would all be done and dusted. Now, eight and a half years later, she and her boyfriend are also living in the way they are accustomed. For 5 years, work was almost non-existent, but is now slowly picking up, but it will never be as it was in the days of the settlement. My equity is consumed and I'm in my late 50s, now with only social security to look forward to. My daughter barely communicates with me and while I know that she loves me, her mom has a long history of being very divisive amongst family who is of no use to her. My daughter is left conflicted, so loving her as I do, I leave her to deal with things as best as she can. After all, she lives one town away from her mom while I'm 2 states away. Unfortunately, the financial award is an empowerment and it's only natural for those to protect and defend that "empowerment".
The point is, if alimony were only a stepping stone so that parties can get back on their feet, everyone would be able to get on with their lives. However instead, this current system encourages the following:

a) alimony becomes a justification for mercenary financial malevolence
b) the alimony recipient never takes a pro-active role in rebuilding their life while maintaining an
enhanced sense of entitlement
c) kids become alienated (usually to one party or another) because of the conflict and injustice
d) the alimony payer never can get on with their life and is potentially permanently hobbled finanfially

Anyway, the above thoughts aside, I now only manage to stay solvent and hope that my health doesn't deteriorate while I'll have to work the rest of my life. Now I have nothing but my blessings to count and just hope that can sustain me.