Alimony invoked for Spite - Allowed by Stupidity

In short, I was never represented in divorce court in 98. I had not objections to an open ended alimony ($1 a year) and paid child support raising it 34% by the time my daughter turned 18. I know, the open ended alimony was a stupid move on my part, but I really did not think my daughters mother would sue for Alimony 14 years after our 5 year marriage as a measure of spite. I would not pay for horse back lessons for my 19 year old daughter, as I wanted her to be responsible. Her mother brought me to court in contempt for not paying college tuition just because I would not pay a secondary service provider (a barn) for horseback lessons for our daughter. ( it was a collegiate activity). I am paying 1/2 of tuition, room board and books until she is 25. The contempt charge was groundless so she also sued for alimony increase (I firmly believe out of spite) as her financial status changed and is collecting full disability. She is sick and unable to function because of a nebulous lyme and fybro, migraine diagnosis.

I stupidly went in, again unrepresented, because I thought surely this will not go through. Well I was partially right. Needless to say I won the moral victory that my daughter needed to take fiscal responsibility for her hobby and I lost the legal system's quite unjust and outdated alimony laws. I now currently have to pay my daughters mother $125 week for life. I have a young family and my wife does not work so that our 4 and 7 year old are raised properly. I had a decent relationship with some imperfect aspects with my daughter and her mom, until I disagreed. Now matters are worse. I and my wife Beth are deeply hurt by this fiscal blackmail and unjust ruling. We are not super rich, and now have been crippled in our ability to save money.