Eight years of Hell

My ex-wife had an affair. While the court would not recognize it despite the testified evidence of numerous late night phone calls to his place of work, the suspicious "picnic lunches" at a location hours away from town, etc, an affair took place for almost a year. Without knowing all of this at the time, she asked me for a divorce and then wanted full custody of our children, despite the devotion and involvement I was and am in their lives. That being said, my ex-wife hired an unethical attorney, who believed in a scorched earth policy to ensure his client was awarded the bulk of the estate and the hours he billed were astronomical. At trial, I was portrayed as a horrible husband and person, which is the farthest from the truth. The "spin" the attorney put on day-to-day aspects of life in order to make one out to be "the bad guy" was mind boggling and eye-opening to how the family court system is truly flawed. The unethical tactics and manipulation my ex-wife allowed her attorney to do in court was unconscionable, all to achieve money. The judge in my trial clearly did not understand the concept of pre-tax and after-tax assets and awarded my ex-wife approximately 85+% of the assets acquired during the marriage, in addition to enormous amounts of alimony and child support for 16 years although I was not married that long. Given this huge amount of money she was receiving, I was still ordered to pay for everything for the children (private schools, clothes, sports/extra cirricular, trips, supplies, etc....everything!). I was also ordered to secure a life insurance policy for millions and name her as beneficiary. This "alimony sentence" I was given through my early 60's, has prohibited me to save for retirement and continue to live the life I would like with my new wife, yet the judge ordered me to keep her in the life to which SHE was "accustomed". Despite the fact she is an educated woman capable of working and supporting herself in the lifestyle she desires.
Even worse, is that the ex-wife has been living with another man for 5+ years. Despite the emotional toll and unsettling environment my ex's living arrangement has taken on the children, she continues to fight for alimony even though the divorce decree states it ends when living with a man that is not her husband. Yet the flawed CT cohabitation law is written that the domestic partner must also provide financial support to her household. Why would the live-in provide financial support when the ex-wife has substantial amounts of money? Therefore, the alimony now becomes support of BOTH of them! The divorce laws in CT are Anti-Family! Why would someone get married if they have a huge financial benefit by not getting married? They clearly would just live with someone, like my ex-wife, despite the fact that there are also children in the house. The divorce laws today are antiquated and for a different era. They are Anti-Family in so many ways, while we are living in a State where recent laws have promoted marriage for all types of partners regardless of sex.